you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I need a burrito and a hug.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
