get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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