It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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