What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
