Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
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