but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
