i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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