Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
