well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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