Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
