508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
