they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
