White coat. Heels.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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