I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
