I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
