He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
