you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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