I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
