i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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