I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
