that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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