My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
