You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
