I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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