Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
