i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
