I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
two words...techno handjob
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
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