I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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