I think I just saw someone hide a body.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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