Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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