so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
thus making me awesome and them whores
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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