Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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