NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
