we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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