this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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