Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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