Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
