I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
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