Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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