don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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