i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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