AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
