Heybabeimwearingurpanties
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
