Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize