I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The best revenge is premature balding
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
