Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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