so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
