that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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