Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
