Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
