Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
