Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So drunk its hurt
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Umm I'm too high to move.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Loading more great texts...