I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My pussy is not your playground.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.