Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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  (203): maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans http://tfl.nu/l2qt
  Replies (36) Good night (777) Bad night (2033)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.

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  (724): This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text. http://tfl.nu/bfqf
  Replies (15) Good night (2498) Bad night (1261)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2888) Bad night (844)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5506) Bad night (1275)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4109) Bad night (1245)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.

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  (315): He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits. http://tfl.nu/w5h8
  Replies (7) Good night (3379) Bad night (887)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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  (636): I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph. http://tfl.nu/fo7j
  Replies (7) Good night (2243) Bad night (685)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

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  (917): will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight? http://tfl.nu/ex8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1232) Bad night (595)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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  (781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47
  Replies (2) Good night (1072) Bad night (485)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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  (678): Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/6dhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1746) Bad night (673)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.

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  (757): and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm. http://tfl.nu/2rbo
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (320)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (275)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

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  (214): He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/z3en
  Replies (7) Good night (946) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach

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  (315): ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach http://tfl.nu/r151
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.

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  (775): Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome. http://tfl.nu/b3ha
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (204)

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