thanks...oh and i got my period
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again