i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.