but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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