Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
