You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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