you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
