i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How does one acquire holy water?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
