oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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