Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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