He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
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I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
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