don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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