we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dick has a subreddit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
