i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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