So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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