i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
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at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
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